It's been awhile since I've felt inspired to write in my blog. It is frustrating to me when I'm not consistent with this part of my business. But, I feel so called to inspire and teach and help facilitate change that if I don't have something mind blowing to share, I tend to write nothing.
Today, I felt it important to let you have an insider's view as to what has been going on in my personal world for the past 5 months.....
I have so much gratitude for my current clients, my peer coaches and all my past clients because they have taught me something and I learn from them every day. I am weird.
YES! I own it, baby.
Weird as defined by Merriam-Webster means: unusual, strange, relating to supernatural, of strange or extraordinary character. I've been called weird my entire life. I always thought it was something negative and it set me apart from others. I rarely felt that I fit in, unless I was around other weirdos. About a year ago, my kids starting calling me 'weird.' Saying things to me like, "Mom, you're so weird!" But, bringing their friends to me for party tricks....so to speak: asking for card readings, chakra readings, crystal information, and such. That was when I decided to look up weird because I was starting to embrace that label. I had clients who would ask me how I 'knew' things or make comments such as, "Wow, that was great! How did you know that?" And I would always reply with, "I have no idea."
Being WEIRD took on a new life. I began to embrace it, cherish it and thirst for more weirdness in my life.
One of the first steps in bringing in more weird and embracing my truth was letting go of PERFECTION and the need to be right. Not as in I'm right, everyone else is wrong, but the competitive essence of being perfect. The straight A student part of me. The seeker of approval, love, belonging and attention part of my inner child. I had to get so comfortable doing my own thing, being in my own weirdness, surrounding myself with other weirdos that that was becoming my new normal. I had to begin no longer caring what others thought about me. Or if they understood what my reality was. Some people call it awakening. I personally don't like to use any labels that set me apart from any other human. We are all capable of awakening, being intuitive, psychic, 'weird', if we do the work and choose to be.
I have had a lot of loss over the past couple of years. This has left me raw and having to face my own personal shadow self, get real about my truth, look at patterns in my life that aren't always so pretty. I've had to do a lot of freaking damn work on me. I've worked on my coaching skills by getting higher certifications which only help to open old wounds, past beliefs, 'mommy' issues, etc and all the skills labs that make you look at your pain straight in the face, stare it down and then do something about changing that belief pattern to create a new you that you fucking love!
I'm a personal growth junkie. Yep, I'm weird like that, too. Why would I be a coach if I weren't addicted to constantly improving the self and the experience on this earth? I began to learn tarot and took an oracle card reading course. I let go of my fear that these were the devil's tools. Bullshit. These are Spirit's tools, angel tools, DIVINE tools for helping me connect to my intuition and psychic abilities. Tools to help me connect to my inner know-ing. A way to help my clients see deeper within themselves to what their soul knows to be true and to give them the courage to proceed with courage and faith. The cards are never wrong. My interpretation may be, but the message is not. lol Hey, I'm learning and just like everyone else, it's ok to get it wrong. *wink But, I can tell you there is nothing like giving a card reading to a stranger I know nothing about, the cards mean nothing to me and they tell me how accurate and on target the reading was for them. How freaking cool is that? I love synchronicity and the ways Spirit shows up in our lives.
I am a crystal addict. I was a non-believer and have been converted. They are simply magical! I love the intuitive nature of crystals and how that works on our energy field and energy body. Fascinating. I wanted to know more, so I enrolled in a crystal healer certification course so I could offer energy medicine to my clients. Woot! *still working on this
And then again this spring I found myself fidgeting and squirmy. Anxious and not know why. I felt frustrated and was lacking motivation, creativity and joy. I was doing my 'work'....this means writing in my journal, doing tarot or oracle readings daily, meditating, moving my body, but I felt stuck. Stalled out. Geeze, I HATE feeling stalled! This is torture for the personal growth junkie, let me tell ya.
I decided maybe I just needed to connect with the moon flow and that would give me insight. Oh, it did. I learned how uncanny it is how connected to the moon phases I am on an energetic level. How Mercury Retrograde does affect me! But, I didn't get any answers. And I was still fidgety and unsatisfied. I told my husband I needed an adventure. Yeah, that would fix it all, right?
And then something strange happened. I was presented with the opportunity to join a 2 year Shaman apprenticeship program. I resisted. I don't want to be a Shaman! I'm not some fully connected, second sight, Native American medicine man who knows everything about everything, and takes journeys to the otherworld! So I deleted that email. More than once. It was not for me. I just couldn't see it. *squirm
Fast forward a bit and I found myself driving to Kansas City and joining about 10 other ladies sitting in a circle, sharing our stories, laughing, crying, connecting (again) and feeling like we'd come home to our family. And I think each one of us made a comment such as, "I don't know why I'm here." Where is 'here?' The Shaman apprenticeship. And I had no clue as to what brought me there or why. But, I can say that I have never felt more connected to such a beautiful, diverse, group of women in my life. I have never felt so full. I have never felt so ON THE MARK for my life's purpose as I did sitting around that mesa for those 2 days of deep spiritual work. I learned that being a shaman has many uses and directions. I've learned that we connect to our inner knowledge by ceremony and that I love ritual and ceremony. I've learned that I'm inspired by synchronicity in my life and I'm always seeing things that others may not notice. I learned what my animal guides are for this leg of the journey. I am fascinated. I am inspired to bring this practice to my tribe/you. This 2 years will change me. These next 2 years will change the way I work with clients. These next 2 years will be frustrating, challenging, inspiring, remarkable and enlightening. It's only taken me 50 years to find a creative and productive, targeted outlet for my weirdness. *lol
In the meantime, I'm still working with clients who want to improve their health and wellbeing. I'm still helping women find their inner goddess and who want to develop a stronger sense of self, a deeper connection to their intuition. I'm still guiding and teaching mind-body-spirit wellness. I offer complimentary discovery sessionsto help you get crystal clear (pun intended) on your intentions, desires and how to get those outcomes you want. My bag of tools is constantly growing and like you, I'm constantly changing as do I my personal work, too.
You are more than a diet and exercise program.
You are more than cooking, cleaning, managing the kids' schedules and driving them to their activities.
You are more than your job.
You are more than your partner.
You are much more than what your ego/mind tells you you are.
You are more than old limiting beliefs gathered in your youth from well meaning parents.
You are more than what your family says it's ok to be.
You have a relationship to the DIVINE, to SPIRIT that is calling to be nurtured and listened to.
YOU are ENOUGH.
I hear you. I feel you. I know you want more. I know you are ready. I know you so desperately want to step into your personal power. I know you deserve to create your own joy in this lifetime. I know those feelings, too.