I had a couple of things happen in the past few weeks that made me question this. First, my personal boundaries were being challenged. Second, I was sleeping with a certain crystal under my pillow who's energy kept sending me the signal of not only get clearer boundaries, but to be impeccable with my word and demand the same from those around me. Finally, we switched my youngest daughter from public school to private parochial school.
You may be wondering what in the world those things have to do with the price of ham in Russia, right? Let me explain.....
Boundaries. I didn't have clear boundaries regarding how I wanted to be treated. I was allowing myself to get bulldozed. I had a string of texts from toxic people that were upsetting and I was too afraid of a confrontation to respond. So I did nothing. I allowed people to make fun of my Instagram posts. Not ok. I allowed well meaning friends to challenge my beliefs and try to tell me how to think and to shut up about my opinion.
I was being challenged. And I didn't like it.
How was I showing up? Weak? I'm not exactly sure. I do know that I had to sit down and write out how I was going to allow people to treat me. What was I going to tolerate? And what was simply not ok? I had to make a conscious effort and look at what I was putting out energetically to the world and how it was showing up for me.
As many of you may know, I love sleeping with a crystal under my pillow. I use these for healing, for dream work, for better communication with Spirit, for neck pain, so many different reasons. This particular stone I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted it for, so I was just going to get to know it. All of a sudden, being impeccable with my word kept coming into my head. This does tie into boundaries. You see, if you aren't impeccable with your word, you have no trust. You aren't reliable. People don't take you seriously. There is no respect. Part of this crystal's job is to affirm, "I am impeccable with my word." Have you ever thought of that? Truly saying what you mean and meaning what you say?
It's harder than it sounds. I am a work in progress with that one!
Finally, sending my daughter to a Catholic school. We are dealing with uniforms and rules. She has to go to mass and take religion class. She brought her homework home one night and was very stressed over memorizing about 10 prayers and the 10 Commandments. She was reading them and practicing them over and over on our drive home one night. She read the 10 Commandments and I have to admit, there were a few that I had forgotten. The one that stuck out the most was, "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor."
Isn't that gossip? Yes. Isn't there a very thin line between sharing information and spreading gossip? Yes. Ugh!
This brought me back around to being impeccable with my word and being truly authentic in my life.
How am I showing up? How can I step up my game? How can I be a better version of me?
After a few days of really thinking about this and wondering how I could create and become a better me, I've decided on a few simple (ha!) steps.
5 Steps to Create the BEST VERSION of you
1). It starts with food. Everything is energy. If you want to raise your energetic vibration to be more positive, happy, confident, awake, etc, you have to eat food that is alive and generating at a higher frequency. The highest vibration foods are going to be fresh fruits and vegetables. Organic, seasonal, local is preferred. As much real, whole food as possible. I'd like to challenge you to take notice of people eating fast food or the people in the grocery store with a basket full of soda, white bread, frozen meals, candy, cookies, etc. Then go to a health food store or a vegetarian restaurant. Do you not only see the difference, but do you feel it? It's the darnedest thing! People eating fast food are grouchy, irritable, ashen, unfriendly (now, I know this doesn't apply to everyone and it's not scientific data here, just a personal observation) and people in vegetarian restaurants are so damn happy and full of energy! I want what they're eating! To create a better version of you, I highly suggest you improve what's on your plate and eat a bucket load of veggies and fruits. Cooked, raw, frozen, fresh, I don't care. Just eat them.
2). Breathe. I can't tell you the times that I have used my breath to calm, center and ground myself when I felt like I might lose it. I used to have anxiety attacks. Until I learned I could control them with breath. Breath is our life force. Pranayama. It's our nourishment for the soul and the body. It's what connects us to our bodies. It's what connects us to the present moment. If you feel depressed and worried, you are perhaps too much in the past. Breathe. If you are experiencing anxiety, you may be focusing too much on the future and what has not yet and may not even happen. Breathe. Trust that everything you need is here and available to you NOW. Try a simple breath pattern of 4 counts inhale-hold for 4 counts-exhale to 4 counts. Repeat for at least 5-10 minutes. More if you have the time and as you get better at it. This can be practiced at any time! Try it in line at the supermarket when the person has a full basket and the scanner isn't working.
3). Move. Our bodies were meant to move. Our culture involves so much sitting and hunching over, commuting, sitting at our kids' practices, waiting, waiting, that we don't get enough movement in our days. You don't have to go to a gym everyday to move. You can do things in your own home. You could dance in the living room with your toddler. You could challenge your teens to a push up contest. You can take the dog for a walk. You could go hiking and use rocks for glute exercises. You have so many options! But, move. Move your body in a way that feels good and that you love to do. Move your body in a way that is fun! Minimum 30 minutes per day and work up to an hour 5-6 days a week. It doesn't even have to be all at once. Break it up into 3, 10 minute bouts.
4). Be impeccable with your word! I feel like this is crucial to being the best version of you. You can say exactly what you mean and mean what you say and as long as you are truly being authentic, it needn't matter what response you get. Saying what you mean and meaning what you say results in a stronger sense of self. You gain respect from others, but most importantly self respect. You are putting yourself as the priority with no intention of hurting another. You are becoming more aware and conscious of how your words may affect not only others, but also you in an energetic way. We are all works in progress and I feel this is one area that will not be as easy as it sounds. I think we are so conditioned to go with the flow or not to step out of the box that we don't pay much attention or think it's a big deal if we aren't being impeccable and we're just placating the group. But, if you want to show up authentically and be a better version of you, practice saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Unapologetically.
5). Say NO. Or more specifically, those things that make you want to shout YES! When my older 2 were younger, I felt I had to do every party, every field trip, every volunteer opportunity I could possibly do in order to be a good mom. And then, I had baby #3. I was a little bit over-extended, childcare was hard to find, and I realized this was more stressful than enjoyable anymore. So I had to learn to say NO. I began this with a little stall tactic. "I'd love to! Let me check (with my husband, my calendar, etc) and make sure before I commit." And then I would go home, get quiet, weigh my options. If it was going to cause me more stress to go, I had to opt out. "I'm so sorry. I'm busy that day." Even if being busy is taking a shower or picking your nose. You don't owe anyone any excuses and besides, blabbering on about how you're too busy to do this one thing only makes people yawn. They don't care. They are only focused on finding the next possible volunteer and probably secretly wishing they'd had a scheduling conflict, too. You are not a bad person if you say no. You are showing up a better version of yourself if you say yes to the things that really excite you. And a lower version of yourself if you are dreading the event and only attend out of obligation. Ugh..... Can't you feel the difference? I felt it just typing it. Look for the things that you love to do and say YES to those things more often. Let the other stuff go.
Showing up in your life authentically and with vigor and excitement is uplifting to everyone you're around. Begin with your physical body because when you are building physical health and stamina, you are building mental endurance and positive mindset, too. Mind-body-spirit health is a 3 pronged approach to wellness that I work with my clients to do more. For me personally, I didn't start to heal my body by being obsessed about food, restriction, dieting, good food/bad food and scale weight. I had to let that sh*t go. It was when I started to connect to my inner knowing and higher self that I started to experience healing. If mind-body-spirit wellness is your goal, but you're feeling stuck or not sure which direction to turn next, maybe it's time for a DISCOVERY SESSION.
In this DISCOVERY SESSION you will gain insight as to what might be holding you back and causing you frustration. Which area of wellness needs the most attention? Mind, body, spirit? Maybe you're empathic and this is sucking your energy and creating difficulty in your body. Maybe your spirit needs attention and you aren't certain how to connect? Maybe you need help in the dietary department and learning how to eat best for your goals? Maybe you want to uplevel what's on your plate and do a full detox? Whatever your goals, whatever your current blocks might be, we'll get deep and uncover them. Then we'll work together to give you simple strategies to begin clearing them so you can start to show up as a better version of you!
DISCOVERY SESSIONS are 30 minute phone or Skype conversations 100% focused on you! What are you waiting for? It's time to create the life and the YOU you want to become.
You By Design Transformational Health Coaching
Empowering women to lose weight, feel great and love the skin they're in without giving up their favorite things like wine and chocolate.
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