Are you as confused as I am this week? Holiday weekends can wreak havoc on a week, eh? I posted Monday Intentions in my Facebook group yesterday, which should have been INTUITIVE TUESDAY! I woke up this morning, realized it's already Wednesday and how there has been so much going on that this week has flown by. But, as I did my morning card reading, journaled and opened my Mesa for Spirit work, I realized I didn't do Intuitive Tuesday. Oops.
I have to admit, I've had my head full of cobwebs and my energy has been all over the place. I'm the kind who always looks forward to Monday (or in this case, Tuesday) as the first day of the week.
A chance to begin anew, get back on track, get back to my routine and schedule and clients. But this week, as the evening drew on, I was really digging in my heels. No reason that I could find. I was dreading everything about the upcoming week and next. A few weeks ago, I suggested to my super cool Facebook group a way to check in with their energy daily? That's what I was doing Monday night, but I just couldn't get a handle on it. I couldn't even breathe enough to pull it in and ground myself.
Yesterday, I was meeting with my herbalist. She was telling me about Mercury Retrograde (happening now) and there are 3 Eclipses this month, 2 new moons and energy right now is all about releasing, reinventing, things being in your face, renewal, huge energy shifts (I'm thinking about all the recent earthquakes, hurricanes, volcanic eruptions in the world, too), etc.
But, as we chatted further, it also came up that I had made a commitment a year ago and I was having a really hard time with it. It was causing me more stress than excitement. She asked me more questions regarding this commitment, she asked me what I felt in my body, she challenged me to let it go and recheck my body. She told me to ask my INTUITION for guidance.
I said, "Oh, I did. I got x card and y card." And we laughed. If I chose to honor this commitment, I was going to feel alone, out in the dry desert with the only bright spot a green cactus....which she pointed out has thorns! I realized in that moment that my belief about intuition is skewed.
I realized in that moment that I had not fully checked in. Fully.
I did ask for guidance on the 'right' thing to do. I felt no impending danger and got no clear warning signs about this commitment, so I assumed I should carry though. That's what intuition does, right? It's main purpose is to tell you when you're life is in danger, right?
But it tells you so much more.
And my intuition got louder by creating unease in my energy field and it got louder and louder until I could physically feel my heels digging in trying to get myself to stop and connect. I tried discussing this issue with my husband, but he was no help. I tried eating something that would help me feel more grounded. Nope. I tried drinking my herbal tea. Nope. I tried sleeping. Nope, not gonna have that!
But when my herbalist began asking me a series of questions, challenging me on my intention, my thoughts, and having me recheck in with my body, I came to realize I wasn't a quitter for not following through with a commitment I made over 1 year ago. I wasn't letting anyone down, except myself if I forced myself to carry through. I realized I wasn't listening to my intuition because I had a belief from childhood that intuition only showed up for you when danger was about to happen.
Intuition is connecting to that part of you that knows what is best for you. It is that part of you that listens quietly for what the soul wants and needs.
It's listening to what your body needs to feel energetic, healthy, alive and connected. This could be exercise, food, new experiences, self care, etc.
It's that part of you that connects the mind with the body and it whispers oh so quietly. Almost so quietly that it's difficult to hear sometimes. It takes practice to hear/see/feel/know this part of you.
So what did I do?